I have been meaning to do this post for some time. I brought it up time and time again, but never really focused on it for one of these I the American Otaku posts. Although it has been some time since I did one of these, and I actually wanted to do this one a while ago, specifically right after the event that happened I will discuss, well it is finally time to talk about it.
Instead of rambling on for what the secret is, well it is the fact that I am into anime and manga. So, there is my blog, which all I do is talk about anime and manga, and wish to talk about comics more. There is twitter, which according to my brother word for word “Oh My god calm down with all the anime stuff seriously.” My secret does not really seem like a secret.
So, I will say one of my brothers know about the fact I am into anime. So, I guess I should start to explain how that came about and why I kept it as a secret. For starters I guess I can say no one really asked and there was no reason for me to really bring up the fact I was watching anime, so it naturally became a secret.
As for my brother finding out it was not even being into anime for a year and back when we would watch Smosh videos every Friday together when I accidentally exited the web browser and my background being the Fairy Tail logo showed. He naturally questioned what it was, and I said it. He gave me a disguised look. I tried to explain, he continues to this day making fun of me about it. One reason for this is, one he is my younger brother and likes to make fun of me, and two he does not care what it really is, since he just does not care in any way.
So, with that event happening I decided for the best to keep it a secret. I did not really talk to a lot of people, so it was not like I had an opportunity to talk about anime with classmates in University. This is probably one reason why my conversations with people about anime can go on for a long time, be it in my posts, comments or one twitter. I finally have a means to talk to people about it. If you like the fact that I do that, well thank you for being able to put up with my rambles, but the fact that a lot of people read my posts now I might as well say thanks to everyone for putting up with the length of my posts.
Anyway as per usual with these posts I went off on another tangent. I guess I should bring up the reason why I never really bring it up other than that experience with my brother causing me to fear what my parents would think.
Well I can say for certain my dad would not care. My mom is another story. I guess talking about the more recent example would be the best. Not really sure where she gets the stereotypes from, but that is just how she is. I mean with my mom being the only woman who has been a constant in my life it is obvious that I care what she thinks about me, so really I am just protecting my image, even though I know nothing bad would happen if she found out, kind of weird that a twenty-two year old man is saying this. Anyway back to the back story time. (Of course after this part it has been about two weeks since I worked on it, so I am only going over the recent event)
My brothers were still in school. I myself have only been out for about two weeks. This was the next to last week in May, which much I remember when this happen. Of course now remembering when this took place it really took me a long time to get this post out. Anyway, back to what happened. (I took a pic from a tweet, only to realize that the event happen twice in May, and I found at least one that could work. I may not have tweeted out what was happening)
Anyway besides that minor distraction. It is always a little awkward in the car when my mom drives. It was a half a day for my brothers so my mom wanted to go out to eat for lunch. well were we were going was a half hour away and what not. She never keeps the radio on, so half the time we talk about something. She naturally brought up work. This was after me bringing up comics and her bringing up a comic event at work.
She went onto talk about how they are going to be changing the comic and manga selection. (By the way she works at the same bookstore I buy manga in on days she has off. I talked about it a few posts ago for I go Buy Manga) So, I was a little excited about this fact. Then it happened. I am not sure what got her to say it, but she talked about manga.
“Manga is that thing from Japan,” she said.
“It is Japanese comics mom, same as American comics,” my response.
“All the people who buy that pervy stuff are women, lesbians, and guys that probably live in their mother’s basements. I am glad I don’t have to worry about you kids getting into that weird (substituted word incoming) stuff.”
A weird feeling went over me, worry was one, a part of me was giggling since I happened to be into anime, and a little bit of annoyance. My mom tends to have a set belief about things and trying to get the right or at least a better view of things is difficult, very, very difficult. It feels like it I were to try to explain to her what it is, she would not listen. Of course at the time of this happening my brother was poking fun at me since he knew I was.
There are always people like that in the world. It is weird now that I am older I am starting to see the many flaws in my parents that when I was little would always think they were amazing.
Of course when we were eating and my youngest brother and my mom left for a moment I told my brother the absurd amount of manga I have hidden under my bed. We also laughed and questioned where my mom would get these stereotypes. Really do not know where she gets it. To me every time I see someone talking about manga or anime, or see them reading it the only one that they would fit of the stereotypes on occasions would be the fact they were a women, so I mean one third of what my mom said was kind of right but then again even if she said guys it would be a similar scenario so I guess that cannot really be counted.
Anyway, it is still a little hard bringing it up even around my younger brother. When trying to explain what anime is? (The day this post went up I had a short discussion about how anime work in episode length and how the series run since my brother was a little curious but it was still awkward to talk about it) It is different, and yes there are some things that can be perverse. At the same time it feels like that is just a small fraction, but the entirety of it is being looked down on because of it. I really did not know what anime was until seeing it.
Each passing day I question why I worry so much, but that is just how I am. I am naturally like that. I care to some degree what people think about me. I mean I bring up the fact I am into anime every now and again at University if the opportunity calls for it. The older generation really seems to close to their set ideals, and that is who my mother is, one of the older generation and not will to accept what is different. We are a generation of change, were it does not matter what we are into and it does not matter about just anything. Look at all the people doing stupid stuff just to get internet famous. That is just how our generation is.
It feels as though that might be the root cause of the misunderstanding and what keeps my biggest hobby a secret is that difference. It is weird to think about it. But the more I do the more I realize how small this world is. We are changing rapidly. My parents’ generation everyone in the neighborhood knew each other. Now I know people all over, from the same state, Canada, Philippines, Sweden, and just about everywhere. Our generation is one about change and understanding of one another and connection on a larger scale.
I keep it a secret in hopes that they will someday find that on their own. Plus like I said I am a person who worries what people thinks, namely my parents. Sounds counter active, but it is true. There are just some things people are not ready to do. But I acknowledge the fact that I might not be into anime forever, I might not be blogging forever, and I might not even be able to keep it a secret forever either. I will just have to make do, trying to make a small change one step at a time.
I know I do not just keep it a secret for just that, but because it is my own hobby. When I was into Pokemon, my brother did. When I was into comics, which the hobby is slowly dying after almost five years, this is reading comics not superheroes and everything else or manga for that matter. Anyway my youngest brother got into comics as well. Anime and manga is a hobby that is just mine. I like it that way. I do not like to keep it a secret, but I like to keep it a secret. There is just so much that comes into play if I were to tell them about it, or have it discovered. It is awkward. But to me, it seems like this is how it should be for now be it for either of those reasons.
What do people around you think about being into anime or manga, specifically the ones that are not into it?
So yeah this life reflection post was long over do, kind of wanted it out over a month ago, but things get in the way. But then again they are not always meant to be a regular thing and only come out whenever I feel like it. I hope you enjoyed. These posts always help me think about things, some from writing and some from responding.