Not sure if anyone remembers but I did an update talking about how I would be working, only to do another one saying how I am apparently not. Well this summer has been weird. Really last summer was a little weird too.
Again I am uncertain if I mentioned this, although I know I have on twitter on occasions and what not about having moved out of my parents’ house. Last year was odd. Cancer won the long battle over my grandmother, and my grandfather soon followed over a broken heart of losing his wife. This left their house open and with the insurance someone needed to live there to avoid problems. With the fact that most of my older cousins either live too far away or had a house of their own this left me, the oldest one, with the option to move out.
It was only for the summer, mostly since I could not afford to pay for food and other things like that once school started since my job for the summer ended. So ultimately I had to move back in with my parents. Anyway that summer a lot happened.
My parents do the cooking, so I don’t have many experiences. First time making a hamburger it was raw on the inside and burnt on the outside. Luckily I got a little better after that.
Since all my grandparent’s belongings were still there I did find it odd sleeping in their bed. It was an odd first week before I got used to it. There were a lot of odd things, going grocery shopping by myself, trying to cook, make sure the trash was ready, getting the mail. A lot of things I was not used to doing so regularly or at all.
But despite all of the new things I got to do something different, mostly be able to read manga whenever I felt like it, since I buy and as I said several times by now this hobby is a secret. I was even able to hook my laptop to the television so I could watch all my shows on a wide-screen TV. Needless to say that was amazing. Seriously Akame ga Kill on a 70 plus inch television was amazing.
It was odd adjusting to moving back in to my parents’ house. I gained a lot more manga that summer, had to find a way to hide it in my old room. Look at my collection page, before the summer there was only Attack on Titan and a few Fairy Tail Volumes as well as three volumes of Monster Musume. Seriously how do I hide all my manga now? I could only watch my shows on our television when no one was home, which I did not have a free day that semester, so I did not have an option till the following.
It was just so different. I was sad having to move back in. A part of me cannot wait for the day when I can move out again. I do not like being by myself but it was odd. Living on my own I did not mind it. The only thing I can think of that I did not like was the fact that fact most of my meals were chicken since it was easy to cook, and the fact I never got out of the house. I only got out of the house to go take my laundry to my parent’s house, since my uncle needed the washing machine, as well as going grocery shopping. After work I would go to get comics or something. One weekend after doing my laundry, and dropping it off, after I went to the book store since my mom was back home from work and she still worked there unlike this summer.
Then there was this summer. The last two summers I was working in the factory. This summer I did not. So instead of having money for school, I somehow have left over money from last year. I also ended up gaining twenty pounds since I usually sweat off what I gained that year working in the heat.
What I did this summer was get some writing done. I always find it hard to do at home since, I have the internet. I don’t watch anime anywhere else but home. I just don’t like to. I find it easier to write my story at school, or just out of the house. I can write at home, but like I said it is a little difficult. So, since I am going to be a senior in college, I have no idea how I will work on my stories once I get out. I am not sure where I will go or what. I need to, and I tried and failed at a schedule this summer.
There is also that thing in the back of my mind now that I am blogging. That possibility if it interferes with my writing. I like to write. I love writing stories. I have been having doubts lately, but I always have doubts in the summer about my writing if I can continue with it or if I can publish or whatever. I know blogging here will not last forever. I hope to make it to two years, at least. In the spring I will be on my final semester. More than anything after that point I will have less time to blog and less time to write my story. Not sure where I will be going. Possibly for my Masters, might wait a year. But if I go into the field, I don’t know exactly how I will work around that and my own writing. It is hard to imagine that.
I might have gone off on a tangent, but that is what this summer really has been. Watching a lot of old anime, new anime, writing, blog working and contemplating what is to come. I do not really know what will happen next. Once school starts, I really need to focus for once on not on the now but next year.
I may start blogging less, to focus on my novel. I would like to get it done by December. With Nanowrimo, National Novel Writing Month, in November, I am thinking of possibly not doing it, I would like to. But if I do, then I need to finish by the end of October, which is due able since I will not do a weekly review in the fall. There has just been so much on my mind that even I do not know what will happen or what could happen. A part of me is worried, another does not care, and another that cannot wait for what is to come. It is confusing thinking about all of this, but writing it helps.
Really more than anything it feels like I am doing so many different things I am lost on knowing which direction I would like to go and if I am heading in the right one now. But it feels like we all go through this even if we do not realize it or acknowledge it right away. It is just one of those things growing up.
When I write these posts it always gives me time to think, when I write them, post them, or respond to comments. Even writing this part here I am uncertain of either how to end this post or even how I could continue it, if I could continue it. So this is that point in these posts where I will either say I am done or going to come back after a few days in the next sentence. I did not come back and this is being a post. I personally still feel a little bit of the same way, but I think it is natural with so much about to happen.
As always I like doing these posts since it helps get my thoughts out there and helps me focus more. Even responding to people’s comments help me realize things too.