For starters I really like doing these posts. These, although more personal, it helps my thought process. I just find it relaxing and responding to comments does help gain more insight and a stronger focus on what I talked about. There is also not any stress since I post these whenever I feel like. But anyway, like probably all the other ones in the past for these posts, this will be written over the course of several days and thus I might lose my focus or track at some point.


So, I brought it up in several posts, updates, and on social media, but I am on my final semester of university. In 6 months I will be graduated and start going towards that next step. It is just weird thinking about it. It is just amazing how the last four years are already coming to an end. It honestly does not feel like it. However, much like other posts, there is that sense of worry.

dizzy eyesGoing into college 4 years ago I had one focus. Learn more about publishing and get my book published. I knew little about the publishing world and even had less focus on what I would do once I get published. I had no idea how much a small percentage can make a living solely on being a published author.

I really learned that aspect around year two of University. Most of my required classes were out-of-the-way so I was able to take some on my focus.  That did not bother me at all though. I sort of had a feeling that was a case and was uncertain what I would do while trying/being published.

In the last year more and more thoughts have come to mind. Orginally I thought maybe going into journalism. Personally I do like writing news articles, but I have a lot of problem writing ledes, and more of knowing what to write about. In journalism class I had this problem. The next step was College Newspaper, which I did not write any articles, and served as the person that uploads the articles other’s wrote and as an editor. I do not mind being an editor and personally I like it. I am a lot better picking out grammar issues and details like that. As for the other part, of making sentences flow better, of other people’s work that is, I find that a little difficult. Mostly knowing when I should change the sentence and how.

niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiceTowards the end of my junior year (third year since I know phrases and terms of school is different around the world), I got the idea of going to Grad School. On one hand I could use it to teach on the other it would help form connections in the writing world. This could be from publishers, agents, editors, and just other writers. It really sounds like a great idea. I would love to do it. However I looked into it too late since most deadlines are in December and January. So now the earliest I could get into Grad School would not be till Fall of 2017.

So if I were to go I have a year off, but I need to work to pay off my current loans and then get even more money for Grad School. It is always about money. But enough about that.

Only recently in the past few months, working in a magazine seems like it would fit more or even doing Freelance work. There are a lot more possibilities than I really thought. I really do not know where to go from here.

I got really side tracked from the start. So, good job as always. I did not really think about talking about my career options. Just the ideas are a lot more endless than I originally thought. Going into University I could not really see myself writing a blog as I am now. It has already been a year. For starters I have no idea how people can make money off of blogging. I will say that. If I knew I would be trying it, maybe not here, but on some other topic.

Anyway, back to the main focus. Yes I am a little worried. I might not know where the true source or worry is and why I am worried, but I worry either way. Between how busy this semester is, wanting to try to get my book out there by graduation, and trying to find a job that fits me. I have a lot to do.

I screwed up

Of course like always there comes the point where I let it sat for a few days and returned. At this point I am not surprised since this is a regular occurrence.


Anyway, it is more than just that. I really am having trouble realizing it. In the final semester of high school although I knew it was ending it did not feel like it. On top of that I knew that come the fall I would be going to college. It is not like that this time.

This time I am graduating and then come the fall I will be out in the real world not going to school or nothing. I would like to go to Grad School, but even then the earliest I can go will not be till the fall of 2017.

Regardless if I do ultimately go to Grad School no matter what I will be out in the field. I still have yet to get a job on my own yet despite countless number of searches. My only job so far that I got was due to my dad working there. So, obviously I am worried about trying to find a job in my own field. Especially since I do not know where to search. Luckily my campus and even some of my professors can help me, so I am not as worried with that.

I guess more what I am worried about is the fact I do not know what that next step will be like.

One thing I remember about my Philosophy class is the idea of being afraid of something so much you become it. You fear to fail, so you don’t try and thus fail for example. So, that is the real dilemma.

best girl fate sad face

However I really do not want to make it all about worrying where I will be when I am done with college, although there is always worry about other things. Like will I find time to work on my book despite working full-time? Could I find time to manage this blog even if it is only a post a week or so?

I really hate saying this to myself. I also find it super ironic too because how much it is said in my story and how much it annoys the main character. But it is true no matter how I look at it.

I will know in time.

I may have my worries, but I need to do my best and plan to avoid all those worries that I have. I already have some ideas. I just need to take that step and give it my all.


We all have our worries. One reason why I like these posts is to be able to talk about mine. I am not sure if you can help me with mine. I am not sure if I can help you with yours, but maybe talking about our own worries can help us figure something out.

As always I hope you enjoyed.  If you have any thoughts, ideas, or anything you would like to see here feel free to comment. If that does not work try to contact me through social media.

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Again, I hope you enjoyed and see you next time.

– Joe