I know I wanted to do a special post for my birthday. However I think this one should be about saying good-bye. To me this has been a struggle in thinking about it for the last few months. There were times where I completely forgot about it. It is time to end it though. It is time I say good-bye to one chapter of my life. My Deviantart account and start the process of closing it down.
It might be weird, since you might be wondering, “Joe, so what that doesn’t have to do with your blog.” Well, in a way it does.
It was back in November of 2012. College, as I brought it up in some of these posts, I do not really have a personal friends. I used Deviantart as a sort of distraction. Where I write stories, mostly since I did not know of a site where I could write stories. Only now I know it is Wattpad, but more on that later, although not really since it is not going good their either.
There where three stories I did there, weekly too. Two were Pokemon related, since I just felt like writing about it, because at the time I was super hooked on Nuzlocke Comics and just fan games with new regions. So I did just that for both series respectively.
“Adventures in the World of Pokemon” was my first, and only story I completed on there.
Alright, let me just stop again, since you are probably really wondering, “Seriously why tell us this?” Well I will get to that towards the end, where I will hopefully point it out in obvious letters how it could affect my blog.
Anyway, Adventures I had fun writing at times. I had a lot of fun writing all the stories there. But it is just that. It always felt like I was doing something wrong though. One, and although I joked about it often, it is still true, but I was writing a weekly series on a mostly art based site. But I mean I never really had comments or people looking at my works. Hardly any views, although to this day I am still wondering why Chapter 53 of Adventures has well over 3000 views.
A part of me does not want to leave the story of Nuzlocke to end, I had so many problems with that one. The last two years, well they have been hard on all stories there. I was struggling to get them done when I wanted to, have fun doing it. My grandma passed away so that took a huge chunk out of me wanting to write. Then last year I had more fun blogging and only just a few weeks ago remembered the account still exists. Seriously, all summer I did not remember it, I did remember one story, Hero Team in Training, but another thing that will wait to talk about. Anyway I continued to push it aside and well, I really do not want to work on it any more.
Hero Team in Training is important to me. I really loved working with the characters, how I set it up. I moved it to Wattpad for a more edited version. However that site is also dead too, yay. I probably will close it at some random point, but whatever. Since I plan to hopefully finish rewriting the first volume at some point, edit it, add more to the story, and whatnot, so I can self-publish it.
It is one reason why I want to close the account for Deviant Art down.
Deviantart original had a purpose, which was to keep me distracted till I made friends. I was alone in college, depressed, and had hardly anything to look forward to. It helped me keep my mind of my loneliness that was eating me up day after day. In a way it did. I never got a sense of community on Deveiantart that I do here blogging, and this is where it all connects. I haven’t had that feeling of loneliness (as bad as I used to that is) in such a long time because of it.
See I did make it obvious.
Almost a year ago one of the first posts for this journal like thing went out. It dealt with the fact I was uncertain what friends are? Do friends online count? Things like that. I never really realized it but I made them through blogging. I found something I can enjoy. Granted I get comments every now and again, but I wish to somehow get more, just to talk to people.But it is fine, I still have ways to talk to people and blogging helped bring that out.
But I still worry knowing that in a second the people I talk online can be gone, without a word. They could close their blog, which some have done that I would like to call friends, or close their twitter account, which some have. I worry, but that conversation is for another one of these posts.
So, although I worry that someday I will not be able to talk to the people on the blogverse or twitter. Deviant Art was my first step and it helped me through my tough time.
I do not want to remember the constant struggle, the constant sadness of no one telling me their thoughts, or knowing if my writing is good enough. I want to remember that it gave me something to write, something to do, some hope when I really needed it.
I want this post to not serve as a way to say goodbye to it. I want it to serve as a memorial.
I am not closing it right away. There are a few minor things I would like to do. But it has been fun.
As always I hope you enjoyed.
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Again, I hope you enjoyed and see you next time.